I have been searching for "something" in this process over the past several weeks. I didn't know what it was, nothing I could really put my finger on that was wrong, or missing. It was kind of like a feather blowing in the wind, just out of reach. It reminded me of one of my favorite movies when I was a kid - "The Big Red Balloon". I saw it one summer during one of my many art classes at the Dallas Art Museum. Looking back, it was probably an independent short film, and I believe I remember the accents, the few spoken words in the film, being foreign. It was the story of a little girl chasing a big red helium balloon all over the city. The string hanging down, always just out of reach, blowing on the whim of the wind. Sometimes she could see the balloon, sometimes she could jump and almost grab it just before it was lifted on the breeze and carried to a new location.
That is how I have felt over the past few days..."it" is always just out of my reach. I have walked miles and miles each day, exploring Indianapolis and Toronto. Venturing out in a new direction, knowing "it: is just around the next corner, around the next bend in the river or under the next church steeple in the distance.
Last night, I caught it - my big red balloon. I caught it, sitting alone in the dark on a bench in a 175 year old university, surrounded by old stone buildings with ivy covered walls. Steeples of Victory and St. Michael's and the other nearby universities fill the sky in all directions, and the modern world lights then from towering glass buildings from above.
My big red balloon is peace. Complete and utter peace. I can hold it in my heart, secure in the knowledge that I am exactly where God wants me to be. I am doing exactly what God wants me to be doing. In the quiet of the midnight hour, sitting on a bench far, far from home, I found myself wrapped in God's arms, secure in his love and protection.
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