06.03.11 The Call...

I watched the video Del sent this morning called The Road to La Oroya. (http://youtu.be/vwslkGrwJcU )  It was a simple video of a drive down a highway in Peru as JKoball told his story of why he is called to mission, Peru in particular.  It made me stop and think.  Why am I called to mission?  Why am I so hell bent on Akobo?

I’ve told the story before, ever since I was a little girl, 5^th grade, I think, I have wanted to be a missionary.  My friend Rosa was leaving school to go live in a convent to learn to be a nun.  For me, that was the bursting open of a dream to become a missionary in Africa.  A dream that never went away.  That dream was fulfilled in my term in Dembi Dollo.  It was fulfilled in some ways and in others it just wasn’t “enough”. 

I am not sure what “enough” is, but I knew, deep in my heart, there was “more” I could do.  In a lot of ways, I felt God was preparing me for “more”, perhaps testing me, for something bigger.  In a lot of ways, it may have been prophetic all the times I told Michael “Just take me to Sudan and drop me off”.  At that point, I wasn’t even really sure what was going on in Sudan.  I didn’t have a tv, didn’t know much about the war.  Just somewhere deep in my heart, I knew there were hurting people and I wanted to help.  Not wanted, felt compelled.

I had the vision of Mother Theresa in my head, working among the poor in India.  I wanted to be one of those nuns, helping the dying and lame.  I wanted to bring comfort to the hungry, a smile to the face of the hurting; to hold the dying child’s hand; to laugh with the not so sick and play with the hurting children and bring them a moment of laughter in a dismal world.  It was more than want, it is more a need.  A deep in my heart need, that won’t let go.  A  deep in my heart need that is compelling me to go forward with this journey.  A journey that I know will be filled with heartbreak and hardship.  A need to help the “least of these”.

The video made me think.  JKobal told his story of call in this video with the Bible stories that led him to Peru.  What is my story?  Why Akobo?

The Bible story that has always shaped my call to mission is partly

Mark 10:21
Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

It is partly

Matthew 25:40
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

As I poured through the pictures of Akobo, I felt a longing to go.  A longing to help.  A longing so deep in my heart, I can’t reach it.   It is the eyes that call out to me in those pictures.  A cry for help.  A cry for comfort.

Many have asked me, “how can you go there?  How can you see all of that?”  I guess my answer is, “How can I see all of that and not go?”  I have been blessed with happy, healthy grandchildren.  Perhaps it is a grateful response for all that God has blessed me and my family with.  But, I think it is more than that.  I think it is the deep longing to help another  grandmother be able to hold healthy grandchildren and watch them live happy, healthy lives.

 Perhaps it is the deep in my heart longing to be able to help other mothers learn  new ways to care for the heath of the families.  And, maybe, it is just to be able to do something, anything to help ease the suffering of others in this harsh land.

 

And, maybe, there is a selfish part of me that thinks it will be exciting to be a part of shaping the new history of this new country as it begins as an independent country in July.  Will the days be long and hard? Of course.  Will I suffer in their suffering,?  Of course.  Will I be taxed beyond my mental and physical abilities to cope? Probably.  But I know that every step of the way God will be with me. I will never be alone  I will be doing God’s will and I will be answering Jesus call to serve the least of these.  And those are the promises that will lead me through the hard days and help me rejoice in the good days.