06.02.11 - The Edge of the Roller Coaster...

I am sitting at the top of a roller coaster.  I don’t know which way I am going, up or down.  I am just balancing on the edge, in that breath filled moment where you wait for the next big plunge.  I don’t know if it will be the short ride down, with the long thrilling ride up, where I go down as I say good by to family  and friends, followed by the long ride up on my journey to Akobo.  It could be the long decent down as I say good by to y dreams of going.  Either way, right now , I am sitting on the edge not knowing what the future will bring.  Right now, I am holding my breath in anticipation and, I admit, a little bit of fear.

My dream is so close I can touch it, yet it is so far away I can’t reach it.  It all began with the email this morning.  I had been waiting to hear from PCUSA and nothing by the middle of last week.  Nothing by the middle of this week, so I sent Celia and email, and received the response I was expecting.  “We don’t have funding yet, but we’re working on it.  We’ll let you know as soon as we have information”.  That didn’t surprise me, when I didn’t hear back from them last week, I figured they didn’t have funding.  What did surprise me was the email I received this afternoon – “Dear Orientation Participant…”  I assume they put me on the list for webinars so I don’t miss out, just in case they get the funding.  So, I will participate – joyfully and full of hope – and if I don’t end up in Akobo, I have learned something more and learned more about the other missionaries being called to serve.