Sometimes there are just no words...

Today is Maundy Thursday, the day we will gather in our churches in honor of the Last Supper as Jesus begins his final walk to death.  Today my heart breaks once again for the people of South Sudan after reading the latest news from there. It breaks for my "Ladies of Renk" when I hear they were attacked last night and many of my friend's coworkers fled during the night.

While I cannot comprehend Jesus, knowingly walking towards the cross and willingly facing the brutality that will meet him there and along the way, I also cannot comprehend the  words of this report.  Sometimes there are just no words.  There are no words to comprehend Jesus thoughts as he went through his torture and there are no words to comprehend the brutality and torture dealt to innocent victims that is described below.  All I can do is pray for sanity to reign in the midst of this insanity and for God to reach down his mighty hand and wrap these innocent people in His loving arms...


Dear Peace-loving Friends,

Today I received two e-mails reflecting the current conflict situation in South Sudan.  While I have not confirmed either, I have no reason to doubt either.  It distresses me to convey these reports to you. 

The first came from a friend who reported that in Bor the UN compound was attacked by SPLA resulting in the death of perhaps 100 of those taking refuge there and many UN troops.  Many more were wounded.  I do not have additional details. 

The second report was of an attack by rebel forces on Bentiu which, although it lacks numbers, is horribly specific in the description of the abuse, particularly of women.  A portion of that is reproduced below:

"Reich Marchar’s militia has seized Bentiu. These evil men stormed the city, wildly firing machine guns, randomly killing civilians and government leaders. Then they mobilized themselves to storm the churches and clinics, where they knew people would be weak and not able to run or were hiding for safety and prayer. The militia dragged pregnant women from their beds and cut out their babies, and then cut up the babies. They raped the women of Bentiu in mass, and then raped them with sticks to tear out their uterus. They killed many people praying in our churches. Many of the government officials were killed, and the rest fled. Bentiu has fallen into the hands of Reich Machar."

This illustrates that the people continue to be the victims and that the attacks have become barbaric slaughter in Bentiu and attacking defenseless refugees in Bor.  This is ethnic warfare at its worst and reflects the urgency of our effort to join together to stop the conflict. 

SAAF is seeking to help organize a coalition of South Sudanese groups in diaspora to try to positively impact the situation and end the conflict.

Pray that sanity will return and that God will protect the innocent. 

In Christ's service,

The Journey of the Heart Continues - God's Promises

My heart continues to break for the people of South Sudan and all that they are suffering.  My heart longs to be there with them. Yet, I still know that I am not supposed to be.  My readings for the past few days have centered on trusting God with your future. It is easy to read the words and much harder to put into action.

"Jesus Calling" for today...sometimes my blessings come in mysterious ways through pain and trouble. At such times you can only know my goodness only through your trust in Me....

 It is hard to reconcile that with all that is going on in South Sudan and the rest of the word as we read the headlines and see the pictures of suffering people flash before our eyes.  It is hard to reconcile that God's blessings can come through all the suffering and pain.

And as I sit here in the peace and security of my little house in the US, safe and protected from the fears and hardships of the world beyond our borders I sometimes have a hard time with that. And, yet, as I look back through my memories I have proof of God's promises - there are blessings in the midst of all the hardships.  We sometimes just have to look hard to find them.

I see the faces of the group of children in the churchyard on one of my last days in Akobo, running and playing with an abandon our children seldom know. They stopped their playing to make a video of a worship song where they thanked God for their blessings as their tiny arms and legs and the red tint of their hair and their distended bellies told their stories of not enough food to eat and the malnutrition that is haunting them and the families that love them.

Each time I see a picture of a line of refugees heading for safety with all they can carry, or hundled in the bush, I see the fear on their face. When I see the pictures of those massacred in their hospital beds, places they went with hope for healing, it is hard to see God's blessings.  I have to have faith that God is there with each of them. I know he was comforting those in their deaths, and welcoming them home. I know he has the survivors wrapped in the protection of his arms.

It is harder still to look at the soldiers, armed and proud of what they have done and to know what they have done has brought so much pain, suffering, fear and death in this land I love so much.  It takes all the faith I can muster to believe that God is there also. It takes all the faith I can muster to trust Him. It takes all the faith I can muster to believe His words At such times you can only know my goodness only through your trust in Me....

I see the children playing a game of soccer on the streets of Addis between the sewage pipes that they call home during the road construction. I am reminded of the story I wrote of how God provides for them in the food that is tossed out by the local merchants.

I am taken to the day of the lady holding her lifeless baby on the streets as strangers walked by and tossed the coins they could spare on the tattered blanket she sat on so she would have money to bury him.

Still father back in the recesses of my memory are the elders I met in Ethiopia who though they had no family left to provide for them were taken in by neighbors in their village and provided with food and a shelter at night. While this may seem unimaginable to us and our thousands of choices of retirement options offering advancing stages of care, it is a miracle for them in a land that has no care for the elderly and once again a living image of God's blessings in the midst of hardship and troubles.

It is in these hard times that I feel my faith stretch and grow. It is in these hard times that we, each of us, has to reach out and grab on to that hand of faith that reaches out to each of us and to find comfort in His words, .sometimes my blessings come in mysterious ways through pain and trouble.